Purgatory
by Editor-Bug
Summary: While recharging his PAK, Zim experiences a brush with death and ends up in an elevator with a redhead man on his way down. But trust me, he won't be in Hell for long. One-shot! Read & review if you like! Rated T for Jhonen's language.


(A/N: I don't know how this came to me, honestly...uh, I am odd. Anyway, I shall...get back to work on "Tak Is Back" as soon as I can!

Also, Jhonen, if you're reading this, which I know you're not, I apologize greatly for anything I put in here that makes you go, "I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT" and stuff. Sorry.

ALSO! If you don't understand how PAKs work, head to the Invader Zim wiki and check out "Ten Minutes To Doom", the unfinished episode! Though, you...probably...have already...since you're reading this. Yeah...)

"Computer! Hook up the main life support system from the base to my PAK for maintenance!"

"What, why?"

"I was just playing 'football' with some beastly human boys, and they damaged it!"

The life support wires descended from the ceiling, and Zim quickly attached them to his PAK. He made a mental note to NEVER PLAY SPORTS AGAIN.

Zim watched as an electrical current ran through the wires to his source of life."That should do it. Now, for SNACKS!"

GIR showed up and gave Zim some Irken snacks. The two sat eating them for a bit.

"Warning, warning," blared Computer. Zim wasn't listening."Hey! I said WARNING!"

"Whaaat is it?!" Zim finally replied.

"You must put your PAK back on, Master," Computer said impatiently."It has been nearly ten minutes."

"Is it fully charged yet?" Zim asked.

"No, sir. Energy container is now 50% full."

Zim's narrowed his eyes."...I'm not putting that thing on. Zim recalls the last time this happened, when you put that weird iguana virus in there, Computer!"

"That wasn't...me..." coughed Computer."Anyway, you have to put it on. Hurry. Before you die."

"...FINE!" Zim slowly stood and marched over to the charger. From there, he unplugged his PAK and turned his back to it.

Tentacles shot out of the PAK, aiming for the holes in Zim's back. They made contact, but the PAK didn't settle into place quite right. About three feet of wire hung between Zim and his PAK. It trailed on the floor.

"Hey!" Zim looked at it lying there."Why is it not reattached, Computer?"

"PAK has not gained energy for sufficient attachment."

Zim stomped back to the charger, picking his PAK off of the floor."Then continue to supply the power!" He plugged the PAK back in.

"Who-oa!" Zim shuddered as electricity rushed through his body from the charger and wires. He screamed and shook as it continued to shock him, frying his brain. He collapsed.

"What the? Master?" Computer said, confused."Oh, my God! He must have entered vegetative state! GIR, something REALLY bad just happened to Zim!"

"Hm?" GIR looked up from his nachos.

"As arrogant and obnoxious as he is, we should still try to help him," sighed Computer.

GIR stuffed some nachos into Zim's mouth.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey...hey...wake up...come on, don't make me do something gross...wake the fuck up!"

"AHH!" Zim woke with a start. It was...quite the place to wake up in.

He was on the floor in some sort of elevator. He felt tile below him, and the walls, door and control panel were yellow. Leaning over him was a human who looked about thirty years old. He had spiky red hair, glasses and his clothes sort of looked like Dib's.

"Eh? Who are you?"

"Not important."

"Where am I?"

"Also not important."

"Hmph..." Zim picked himself up. He was thankful that he had left his disguise on when he returned home, and he somehow also had it on in THIS place. However, he didn't have his PAK on his back. He could feel the elevator slowly descending.

"Where is this elevator going?"

"Hell."

"WHAT?!" Zim ran up to the door and kicked at it."Let! Me! Out of here!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" the man said."Hold on, let me explain you a thing. Okay? Just listen."

Zim turned to him."Zim is listening."

"Good."

"LISTENING!"

"Good. Okay, I won't give you my actual name, but you can call me Mr. Scolex."

"Why do you sound like my computer?" Zim asked.

"Hm. Don't know. Anyhow, this is Purgatory. It's sort of between Earth and Hell," Mr. Scolex explained."You go down this elevator to get there. I guess you died."

Zim frowned."And why are YOU in MY death elevator?"

Mr. Scolex shrugged."I usually end up here when I sleep."

"This just isn't right!" Zim kicked the door again."Zim is too AMAZING to perish and end up in that horrible underworld! LET! ME! OUT!"

Mr. Scolex pulled Zim away from the door and slapped him across the face."Shut up! You're giving me a headache! Besides, there IS no way out. You'll just have to accept it."

Zim rubbed his reddened cheek."This is all Computer's fault...He better do something to fix this."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"GIR, we have to do something to FIX this! Not make it worse!"

"Shush!" GIR ordered the computer."Master and I are having a pizza party! Right, Master?!"

Across the table from GIR sat Zim's unconscious body, covered in pizza. Of course, it gave no response.

GIR dragged Zim out of his messy seat.

"Now we're gonna play dress up!"

Computer groaned."Oh, no..."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

DING!

"We're here."

Zim cringed."Oh, please, no."

As soon as the elevator doors opened, fire came shooting in. Screaming emanated from within. Zim felt his face grow pale.

"Zim..." Satan called."Get in here."

"But why?!" Zim yelled back, panicking."Why must Zim suffer in this place?! What have I done?!"

"...are you kidding me?" Satan asked sarcastically."You are the personification of the deadly sin Pride. Really, you are. Not to mention all the evil things you did. You killed most of your own race, for crying out loud!"

"Flattery will get us nowhere!" shouted Zim. He cleared his throat."I refuse to rot down here. Scolex, take me back up."

"What, you expect me to do something?" Mr. Scolex looked down at Zim."You're the one who got into this shit. YOU get out!"

"Um..." Zim turned back to the embers, which seemed to invite him."Can I...wager with another person's life?"

"No," Satan declined.

"Can I give you something of near equal value?"

"No."

"Can I do some good deeds?"

"Nuh-uh."

"Can I- -"

"NO!" Huge, red arms reached out and grabbed Zim."Get in here, NOW!"

"Damn!" exclaimed Mr. Scolex, jumping out of the way.

"NOOO! AHHHHHHH!" Zim screamed as he was yanked into the depths."NOOOOOOoooooo, ahhhhh...hm? Huh. This isn't so bad."

"Isn't so bad?!" Satan asked in astonishment."You are literally ON FIRE! Kid, there are screams of burning people echoing EVERYWHERE! Even I don't like it here!"

"Well, yeah, but Zim is impervious to flame, anyway," Zim began to smile."Plus, all those screams are pretty soothing...ah, yeah...listen to that agony..."

Satan made a disturbed face."You...you're sick. Sick! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

Zim was shoved back into the elevator and it began to ascend.

"Aw!" Zim stamped his foot."I wanted to see a demon fight."

"Oh, well. At least you'll be alive again," Mr. Scolex reminded Zim.

"True..."

A familiar tune plays through the elevator music as it reaches Earth...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Zim woke up, it was dark. His clothing felt odd, HE felt odd. Reaching up, he found that his wig was askew and straightened it. Beneath him, he felt a couch. Touching his back, he was relieved to discover that his PAK was now on.

He pulled his face out of its confined environment and took a good look around. Snacks on the floor, wallpaper peeling off of the walls, loud music coming from another room. Nothing out of the ordinary here. But this obviously wasn't his base. Zim looked down and saw- -

Oh, God.

His face had been between an unconscious woman's boobs.

"SICK!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"GIR, get OUT of that punch bowl! We're going home to get me out of this ridiculous fox costume!"

"It looks nice!"

"GIRRR!"

So, the two returned home and never spoke of that incident again. The end.

(A/N: Again...NOT sure where I was going with this. Or where I went. But I guess I liked it. Tell me what you thought. Please review and fave. END!)


End file.
